Raw perserverance-be thou faithful unto death

I visited the Heartland nursing home a couple times this past week with my mom and the kids. Mainly, to visit a young man named Cantrell. And, yes, I said young man. Normally, the term 'nursing home' makes you think of elderly people who can't care for themselves anymore. Well, that is usually the case in most of the places like that. But, this particular man is in his mid-twenties. My mom stumbled upon him on one of her visits there a couple weeks ago. His story touched her heart. Cantrell was involved in a horrible car crash that fully paralyzed him about three or four years ago(we aren't sure exactly). He can't talk, move any limbs, his neck, or even his head to look at us. But, his mind still works fine. This level of human suffering is beyond what I've ever actually seen before I met him.When I walked in he shifted his eyes towards me and smiled at me. I could see the love of Jesus, past his injuries, right in his eyes. He nods his head slightly when he agrees with you and can sort of mouth words so my mom asked him about whether he knew Jesus or not. He just nodded and his face changed. We then sang some hymns and other praise songs we know to him. He closed his eyes and once tears fell down his cheeks. Though there are many tubes coming out of his throat and he can barely move, you can just see his heart is steadfast on Jesus. To be so young and so paralyzed and yet be so..saved. I don't know. You can do with Cantrell's story whatever you like, but for me I feel ashamed. I feel ashamed that I ask God to make life easier for me and yet there are those who cannot speak the prayer to ask Him. My studies on perserverance and consistency through troubled times seem laughable. I now see that maybe I've never had to taste trouble as I thought I had. With that shame, I also feel inspired to perservere because he can. Sometimes God brings us encouragement through another person and other times He gives us a wake-up call through somebody else. This guy was both of those for me. I realized in a moment the definition of perserverance. Though completely unglamorous, what a glorious thing to trust Jesus yesterday, today, and tommorro. I was talking to a friend one time and he said that you and God can get through anything together. This is true.

Religion vs. Grace

Lately I've been studying the topic 'Grace'. (naturally, since it feels like I need a buttload of it most of the time!!) When I was listening to a Relient K song the other day a line they sang stuck out to me. "The beauty of grace is it makes life not fair". The gospels are full of 'grace stories' as I call them. The woman at the well, the blind man, the paralyzed man and on and on. Reading these accounts of simple, perfect grace nearly brought me to tears at times. Jesus is grace personified for me, for all us. Not grace earned, but grace given. I can't hardly comprehend the grace of God. In my head I imagine the day Jesus was crucified and what heaven and hell must of looked like. The devil thrilled and jeering with his demons by his side looking down at Calvary. God's back turned to His beloved Son. I bet those three hours were dark in more ways than one. In that moment, all the godless religious practices and rituals of the world conquered the world, the disciples cried, Judas commited suicide, and Jesus was dead. I can't help but shudder at the dark time in history. But, then Easter happened. Ressurection happened. Grace happened. When I see people, even christians, so bent over by religion and restrictions and rules I wonder why Jesus died to set us free but still expects us to stick to legalistic views and judgmental attitudes? If we are free indeed then the only thing that should be fueling us to do works for God is our realization of His grace and our gratitude for that grace. Jesus didn't die so we could act like pharisees or sinners, He died so we could be saved. Bro. Kevin said one time at camp that God can't love us any more or less than He already does. God never asked us to be perfect, only to find His grace. What a beautiful thing that God could continue to love me the same way all the time no matter what I do, all because I've accepted His Son. After studying 'Grace' a little more I understand a little less. I realize I am ill-deserving of it and its power but somehow here I am engulfed by it. I can't explain grace at all, I can only say I feel it. The point is- don't let religion control you but be freed by conquering grace. Not so you can sin, but so you can show what's been so graciously shown to you.

Disturbed

Before I say anything else, I'd like to share a story I read a couple days ago while doing some pleasure reading in my freetime(I'm homeschooled. That's what we do for fun, that and making our own clothes,memorizing chapters of the book of Leviticus, and oh don't forget to milk the cows!!). What I read really bothered me where I almost felt uncomfortable. The story tells of an act of humiliation, set in the years before World War 2 ,by Nazi storm troopers who had captured an elderly Jewish rabbi. They brought the man into headquarters, where in the back of the big room he was carried to, a fellow Jew was being beaten to death. As he watched this, the captors stripped him naked and forced him to preach the sermon he had prepared for the coming Sunday in the Synagogue.He asked if he could wear his yarmulke. The Nazi's saw it all as a joke and gladly gave it over ,mocking him even more. As he, trembling fearful, talked on about walking humbly with God, the Nazi's jeered his humiliated frame and had him turned to see the killing of his fellow Jewish neighbor while he spoke. After reading this, I had no idea at first what to take from it. Then, as I kept on reading, the author compared this naked, humiliated rabbi in front of horrid persecution to that of our Jesus, hanging on a cross.The Most High despised by the world. Jesus Christ being spit upon. Mocked to the point that we placed a painful joke of a crown on the Saviour's brow. The words 'King of the Jews' above His head as he suffocated. The flogging and the cries of hate. The spitting and strikes to the very face of God! How can we even understand the shame, the torture,the exucution of Jesus?A thought comes to mind-we know of love and we know of disturbance. But, do we know of love so great it disturbs us? If we know Jesus, we very well should. His love turned to sacrifice- of Himself for us. I challenge you to let the love of Jesus disturb you. Don't EVER get over what He did for you. Keep near the cross,thinking of his scarred hands often,His blood shed, and overall His disturbing love which was displayed thru the cross.

Here I am, Lord (a little-known legend)

Last night I really liked the new series starting in the youth about being legendary for God. For me, what I'm learning is, being legendary is simply being obedient. Uggh. That isn't a very fun,passionate, exciting word. Obedience.Submission.Humility.Legendary? My thought has always been to have a legendary life you must have an exciting ,adventureous life. Over in the book of Acts, beginning of chapter nine, Jesus does an extraordinary thing in the life of an ordinary man.I had never thought of this man too much until last night when I was trying to sort out what God considers legendary. You may think I'm speaking of Paul, but, no, not this time.(Verse ten) Jesus appears in a vision to a man sleeping peacefully in Damascus,"Ananias!" The man quickly jumps up and simply responds with this,"Here I am, Lord" Can you imagine while sleeping in your ordinary town, doing your ordinary service for God, and He speaks out loud to you? How would you answer? Then listen to what Jesus says next!!"Ananias, go down the street and go to the house of Judas and ask for a man named Saul...." Jesus goes on to explain to Ananias that he wants him to heal the blindness of a man named Saul's eyes and to have faith because Saul knows his name and that he will come to heal him. Ananias answers,"I have heard of him and his evil deeds to the christians. He has said he has authority to bind up anyone who calls on Thy name!!" But, if you keep reading you'll see, despite Ananias' fear that he couldn't obey, he did obey God and healed Saul's eyes. Afterwards, Saul was renamed Paul and he went on to write most of our New Testament!! My point being, I don't think he could've done what he did so well blind!! Jesus wants us to be legendary in His eyes. I doubt many people think of Ananias as a legend, but in God's eyes I'm sure he holds a high place. (Ananias did make the bible after all!!) I want to remember God isn't always gonna make us a legend in the eyes of men, but if we are obedient He will reward us. God can use our simple obedience and submission to accomplish great things for Him.

Altered image

So, heres some questions that I've been trying to answer for myself lately - Do I know what Jesus wants me know about Him? Do I have the correct image of Him? How would a clear knowledge of Him radically revive our relationship? I was saved when I was eleven and have had a cute little picture of who Jesus was.- handsome,tall,bright eyes and had long hair.. But, the tailend of Isaiah 53:2 says 'He hath no form nor comeliness;and when we shall see Him, there is no beauty that we should desire Him' This rocked me!! Jesus probably looked ordinary. He was a real person. Just another face, but NOT just another man. That totally changed my image of Him. Jesus was a real person. I also thought Jesus was maybe flatvoiced and softspoken and strict. You know like on the Jesus movies? Jesus looks in one direction and just delivers his message. No charisma or spunk. But, the Gospels describe people completely enthralled with Jesus' teaching-and they were people just like us today, aching for truth and aching to understand the Word clearly, to come alive by it. Do you think Jesus was a boring flatvoiced preacher teacher who never got excited? I don't think so-not anymore, anyways. Reading of Jesus' anger, joy, sorrow and every emotion you could think of has shown me, though of course, Jesus was and is sinless, he felt everything we feel. He can relate to us. He has been there. My image of Jesus is really clearing up. "the Sunday-school Jesus" fog is lifting. Now I can see Him for who he really is. Emannuel. God with us.

Bitten by the blogbug

So, I decided to take up the pastime of blogging....we'll see how it goes. I have a sinking feeling several different things may happen.
1. No one will care about reading my blog
2.When my blog is read, it will be mocked heavily
3.I may become addicted to blogging over a period of time(I've seen this happen in the life of my student pastor-no, offense, sir)
4.This blog will be first and only
5.Evry word will be mispelled, but it'll look fine to me
6.Noone will read my blog(wait, did I say that one? oh, well, it deserves another mention!!!!)


Anyways, despite my fears, here I am.Maybe I'll be entertaining to someone and if not I'll be entertained myself, I'm sure.