Monday, February 25, 2008

Raw perserverance-be thou faithful unto death

I visited the Heartland nursing home a couple times this past week with my mom and the kids. Mainly, to visit a young man named Cantrell. And, yes, I said young man. Normally, the term 'nursing home' makes you think of elderly people who can't care for themselves anymore. Well, that is usually the case in most of the places like that. But, this particular man is in his mid-twenties. My mom stumbled upon him on one of her visits there a couple weeks ago. His story touched her heart. Cantrell was involved in a horrible car crash that fully paralyzed him about three or four years ago(we aren't sure exactly). He can't talk, move any limbs, his neck, or even his head to look at us. But, his mind still works fine. This level of human suffering is beyond what I've ever actually seen before I met him.When I walked in he shifted his eyes towards me and smiled at me. I could see the love of Jesus, past his injuries, right in his eyes. He nods his head slightly when he agrees with you and can sort of mouth words so my mom asked him about whether he knew Jesus or not. He just nodded and his face changed. We then sang some hymns and other praise songs we know to him. He closed his eyes and once tears fell down his cheeks. Though there are many tubes coming out of his throat and he can barely move, you can just see his heart is steadfast on Jesus. To be so young and so paralyzed and yet be so..saved. I don't know. You can do with Cantrell's story whatever you like, but for me I feel ashamed. I feel ashamed that I ask God to make life easier for me and yet there are those who cannot speak the prayer to ask Him. My studies on perserverance and consistency through troubled times seem laughable. I now see that maybe I've never had to taste trouble as I thought I had. With that shame, I also feel inspired to perservere because he can. Sometimes God brings us encouragement through another person and other times He gives us a wake-up call through somebody else. This guy was both of those for me. I realized in a moment the definition of perserverance. Though completely unglamorous, what a glorious thing to trust Jesus yesterday, today, and tommorro. I was talking to a friend one time and he said that you and God can get through anything together. This is true.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Religion vs. Grace

Lately I've been studying the topic 'Grace'. (naturally, since it feels like I need a buttload of it most of the time!!) When I was listening to a Relient K song the other day a line they sang stuck out to me. "The beauty of grace is it makes life not fair". The gospels are full of 'grace stories' as I call them. The woman at the well, the blind man, the paralyzed man and on and on. Reading these accounts of simple, perfect grace nearly brought me to tears at times. Jesus is grace personified for me, for all us. Not grace earned, but grace given. I can't hardly comprehend the grace of God. In my head I imagine the day Jesus was crucified and what heaven and hell must of looked like. The devil thrilled and jeering with his demons by his side looking down at Calvary. God's back turned to His beloved Son. I bet those three hours were dark in more ways than one. In that moment, all the godless religious practices and rituals of the world conquered the world, the disciples cried, Judas commited suicide, and Jesus was dead. I can't help but shudder at the dark time in history. But, then Easter happened. Ressurection happened. Grace happened. When I see people, even christians, so bent over by religion and restrictions and rules I wonder why Jesus died to set us free but still expects us to stick to legalistic views and judgmental attitudes? If we are free indeed then the only thing that should be fueling us to do works for God is our realization of His grace and our gratitude for that grace. Jesus didn't die so we could act like pharisees or sinners, He died so we could be saved. Bro. Kevin said one time at camp that God can't love us any more or less than He already does. God never asked us to be perfect, only to find His grace. What a beautiful thing that God could continue to love me the same way all the time no matter what I do, all because I've accepted His Son. After studying 'Grace' a little more I understand a little less. I realize I am ill-deserving of it and its power but somehow here I am engulfed by it. I can't explain grace at all, I can only say I feel it. The point is- don't let religion control you but be freed by conquering grace. Not so you can sin, but so you can show what's been so graciously shown to you.