Four and no more

Today I woke up in Kaley's livingroom, in a chair, with her huge cat/lion in my face. (She graduated last night and I slept over. It was a good time.) I looked around and realized I had fallen asleep watching a movie last night and now the light was pouring in on me. The reality hit me, like it does daily, that I was leaving in such a short time. 4 days. After me and Kaley oohed and awed over her graduation present(a new laptop), she drove me home. Saying,'See you at the airport' wasn't the funnest goodbye either! Gonna miss her this summer.

When I got home, Bailey and Ginny informed me that I was in the newspaper. I laughed and asked them what they were talking about. Mom explained that she had gotten an issue of The Florida Baptist Witness "newspaper" in the mail today. There was an article about the 2008 summer missionaries working through the Southern Baptist Convention. The magazine is sent out to different churches for prayer. It is incredible to know people are praying for you. I am so grateful for prayer. It's giant for me more now than ever. I can say that I appreciate it more than I ever have before.

Hey, there were 63 of us trained at the end of March. Alot of the kids I met over the weekend already left for other countries. If you are praying for me, please pray for them when you think about it as well.

I can't wait to get on that plane Tuesday! So excited.

Just five

Last night was my last night in the youth group. I knew it might be emotional for me leaving and all, but I had no idea to what extent. I was holding back tears all through the songs, and then through Aaron's message on prayer, and then he asked me to come forward and the leaders and the seniors stood around me and prayed for me on my trip.Once the tears started, I cried the whole time. I didn't even try to suppress it. I felt so touched by the whole expierence. Wow. I haven't ever been prayed for like that. It was exactly what I needed. I thought about the people surrounding me..I am lucky to know you all. Thanks, Aaron and to evryone who prayed. Thank you. I know I cried, but it wasn't because I was sad, nessacarily. I mean I have never been so touched. Alright, I am about to change the subject because it's that or cry again. But, just wanted to let you know how huge it was for me.

Kaley is graduating tonight. I am so excited for her and proud of her. Kaley and I have been friends for a long time and I know she is gonna leave soon for college...alright, this is turning into the most depressing blog ever. I will miss her. She is gonna do great things, I can feel it. Excited for her. Alot of bittersweet times lately. Geez.

Okay, well, I have just five days. I won't lie, even though I am leaving all I know here in the US, my excitement is mounting for what is to come. Inside I have peace about the trip. God is so good. All day long I have been singing this little chorus we do at church sometimes.

Be at rest, be at rest once more
O my soul, for the Lord has been good
Be at rest, be at rest once more
O my soul, o my soul
Be at rest once more
For the Lord has been good to you

SIX DAYS REMAINING!

I am finally, after one of the longest days I have had yet, packed. Packed. It sounds good. I lack some freezedried meals that I need, but the rest is all in the duffle. Today we drove all around town picking up all kinds of items I needed-medicines, camping equipment, shoes, clothes..the list goes on. I figured out we were missing my malaria prescription so we had to drive across town to get it! I have so many different meds with me and prescriptions! I have actually turned into a walking pharmacy...or a druggie, take your pick!

I had to buy durable shoes today that could hold up through whatever. I ended up with these shoes from Wally world that make me look like a Philistine. I feel like the Gladiator when I wear them. It's pretty thrilling. I only have seven-wait- six days until I leave. I cannot sleep! I am steady thinking about the Philippines. A couple nights ago I had a dream that I when I came back I brought a little kid who I fell in love with on the island! hope that was just a dream..ahhh!!!

Anyways, I have purchased literally everything you could ever need on a camping trip-including a sleeping mat which is currently taking up 90 percent of my dufflebag. I guess it is important though=) I am so grateful for the people who gave me funds or I wouldn't of been able to shop today! Thanks so much. Ready to go where people haven't heard of Him! This is my dream.

Going away sneaks....

Well, I am gonna miss my sisters. I leave in a week. Geez.

Tonight, as Bailey and Ginny were headin to bed they asked me to read them a bedtime story. I agreed. They picked out this book about a Japanese girl leaving America in the wake of Pearl Harbor. This had no real relevance to me, but when I read about the girl looking for the last and final time at all she loved in her country I started tearing up. I looked at Bailey and Ginny and that really sent me over the edge. I will miss them so much.

Then, I decided even though they had been told to go to bed, we should stay up and relish in the final days of being together. Over the years, this trick has been our favorite. Mom and Dad say to go to bed and we quietly sneak out of bed and make dessert, take pictures, try not to laugh out obnoxiously. Good memories. Tonight was most likely our last "sneak"(Baileys word for various, exciting disobediences) for awhile.

The icecream truck has finally begun playing its music down our streets(Dad used to tell us that if the song played they were out of icecream!). While I was gone Sunday, the girls rode the golfcart down to it and bought themselves and me Screwballs. This blue icecream sherbet type snowcone looking thing with a big gumball at the bottom. My favorite since childhood. I have been so busy with my trip these days I didn't have a chance to eat it. Well, for our final "sneak" we tiptoed past bedtime to the freezer and snuck the blue goodies. Very dangerous, I know.=) Bailey and Ginny thought it was. Especially, when we snapped that tasty pic up top and I promised to have it 'published' on my blog. They crack me up. They couldn't stay awake another second, even to see the finished blog with their pic. They just turned in.

Eight

I know you are tired most likely of reading about my trip all the time. But heres the thing-I have never seen miracles happen to me(besides Jesus saving me) until now. Any day I am struggling with money, anxiety and all the little things that stress me out concerning my mission trip, God works.All that I could share I have about his miracles in my life thus far. I made up my mind a couple months ago that I would share every expierence of God doing what He does before, during ,and after the summer. He is perfect. I have to share this stuff, you know? As small as a dufflebag and as large as a plane ticket-my heart burns with passion for a Saviour who sends me across the world with the ultimate message of love and tends to every detail along my way. The joy of knowing your life is in His hands. Even when you have little money and little talent or confidence. He works it out, you guys. Miracles. He still does them. He is the same God today who switched water to wine.

That was merely the disclaimer for the next miracle I must share with you. Maybe its not water to wine, but I am praising anyway.

As I said in the last blog, I didn't have the money I needed for all the things I had to buy-including fifteen freeze-dried meals which are too much for their own good. God had provided a large sum of money for me on Wednesday night already(you know who you are and I love you so much and thank you!) This lightened my load a huge bit and I praised God. However, once my dufflebag got ruined and I counted the cost for mosquito netting and other things I realized I was about 100 dollars short. (The duffle replacement being at least 50$.)To make matters worse, the shopping day comes and I race into my Moms room(ready to go and see how God is gonna provide the money I need) and she is so sick with a migraine she cannot speak. I sigh. What is the deal, God? I have to get this stuff before I go and my trip is almost here. Do You know what You are doing? Yeah, he does, Kaylee. Poor Mom felt bad all day and just recovered this afternoon actually. I have been discouraged. Afraid that I wouldn't be able to buy the essential things I needed for the trip. I knew unless a check came in for me...well, same old story-it could mean alot of negative things. Waiting on something miraculous, I just kept hoping.

I hung out in the 2's and 3's this (Sunday) morning with Kaley. She told me that a lady gave her a check to give to me when she dropped off her child in the nursery. I smiled knowingly. Thanks, God. He is so good. I could just continually brag on him and scream at the top of my lungs His glory and shout aloud how He saved me and sent me...yup. This is gonna be a great summer. Oh, yeah,the check was for a 100$. =)

TEN

I cannot sleep. It is 1 am. I just glanced at the clock and realized that I now have ten days before I leave. I have had trouble sleeping for the last three or four days. Just thinking, contemplating, waiting. I am a complete dichotomy these last few days. I feel at peace one minute and then the next I get a sick feeling in my stomach. In a way,this trip, this location has, at times, been my own proverbial Ninevah. Sure, I want to do this with all my heart and will do this with all my heart, but fear overtakes sometimes and I question my ability and my nerve and my sanity. I have made up my mind a couple times since being accepted that I couldn't and wouldn't do this. But, then, God would whisper and send someone along with a check, or an encouraging word. One friend of mine said sighns like these only confirmed that I am walking in the center of God's will. That in itself is terrifying, somehow. Center of God's will. Sounds like a book or something.

I am constantly thinking of this summer. Being without the safety net of family and friends I have always had. Missing my family, the youth group...but, I have been given a gift. The gift of being placed by God in a situation where I can only rely on God. For that I am thankful.

Thinking about surrender. Putting your whole existence into the hands of Christ and just saying,"You could destroy me or exalt me, make me wealthy or poor, bless me or curse me, but I am completely at Your mercy.You are my God and I am your servant. Take me. Use me." To make a statement like that, not with mere confession, but with your life..that is surrender. My goal for the trip is to be able to see at the end that I am a smidge closer to that kind of legendary thought.

Guess I am going to go to sleep now. I am going shopping tommorro for all of my trip stuff. I don't have right now all the money I need for the things I have to buy- God will do what he always does if I need whatever the items are that out of the price rage. Pray for clearance. Oh, and Baileys little chihauhau chewed a hole in my dufflebag. So, thanks, Dusty.

13 days and counting...

13 days. I can't even believe it. Yesterday I got my E-ticket from the travel agent. This is for real. Just a few months ago I was sweating it out about whether or not I'd get accepted to Nehemiah Teams. And now I am less than two weeks away and can already tell- this summer is gonna change everything. There are only a few things left to do before I go and all the major prep stuff is behind me. I am actually going. It has been my dream for almost ever(it feels like) to work overseas for God. Now, I am gonna do it. I have names of all of my team members and my team leader now. Today, for the pure excitement of it, I clicked back onto the website that started this crazy trip-http://www.nehemiahteams.com/

I remember how in the beginning of Jan. I realized I was a junior in highschool and it really freaked me out. I wanted to find a great college and do semester missions, hopefully. Then someone told me about JourneyMan, an two-year missions program overseas. I was curious and googled it(I google everything). That led me to the IMB's website. After reading everything possible about JourneyMan, I was disappointed. The program looked fantastic, but you had to be 21. 'Geez,' I thought, 'I am gonna hafta wait five years?' But, on that page, I saw something about summer ministry in the Philippines. Nehemiah teams- a two-month project to spiritually rebuild areas on the Pacific Rim. Rendezvous with destiny? Sweet.

Looking back on that day, I realize it has been God's plan for me to find that website. For me to harass my parents into letting me apply. For me to get accepted to the team I had prayed I would get accepted in. For me to obtain all the funds I need to go. For me to spend nineteen hours over the Pacific Ocean. For me to spend this summer finding out what it is really like to be a missionary to another country.

Right now, I am hoping God reveals to me who I need to ask to be my five prayer warriors for the summer. People who will pray for me everyday after I leave and while I am there. The IMB suggests you pick specific persons to pray consistently over the summer for your ministry and you. It will give me comfort to know at least those five are praying. And of course I know God will hear from my Dad and Mom quite often over the summer. =) 13 days and counting...

SWEET CORN!!!

So, Round 3 encephalitis shot is done. No anaphalactic reactions yet. Maybe there won't be one. However, the spot around the where the shot stuck me is raised like a goose egg off my arm and it hasn't done that before(with the other shots in the series). It is very hot around the area as well, like a fever is around it. Also, because my shot series was expedited, my immune system is all whack. I sweat, I get chills, headaches, bodyaches, lowgrade fevers...ew. All mild symptoms, though, compared to the other thing. I am feeling okay as long as I steady dose myself on 800 ml of Advil every six hrs. I am a druggie now it seems. (I just realized how personal I am becoming in my blogs. I don't know if its interesting or not, but I am enjoying typing it. I wanna blog about evrything that happens! That's why I need to get a cellular so I can Twitter..)

Okay, gotta another Godstory! God has been blowing my mind. He is a huge, powerful God. But, He takes time for me. I am an inconsistent, untrusting, stuttering, tripping,terrified child. But, he puts His hand in the middle of my life and shows me who He is. I am left with no choice but full surrender.

I have had a bad couple of days. My question was"Is this trip going to happen??" I felt tricked by God. How could He lead me to think it was His will and then snatch His hand away? My trip was going wonderful and then- my travel plans fall through! My parents- anxious to the point of saying negative on the whole summer. What would I say to those who had sent me support? How could I trust Him after this letdown? I called the travel agent that morning and hadn't gotten any word back. I needed a price and an iteniary. But, especially, I needed to know whether or not I could have a flight partner for most of the trip. If she said no...



I layed out in the yard today and cried out to Him. Tears fell. I told Him I was scared. Scared of it all. Then, I heard Emily(my neice who is here to visit) coming over to me. She asked me to take her inside my Grandma's house. I reluctantly hefted myself off the ground and grabbed her hand. I felt like going to sleep and my head hurt. Plus, I had been trying to pray this situation out. But, we went inside anyways. I plopped down on the couch and was quiet. Emily played with the dog on the porch. Then Grandma's phone rang. She looked up from the table where she was cutting fruit. "It is probably telemarketers" she sighed"They have been bugging me all day..but go on and answer it I guess". I picked it up. "Hello?"To my complete surprise,a sweet familiar voice was on the other line asking for Kaylee! My Grandma doesn't know anyone I know besides those in our family. I didn't get it. The lady on the line said because our family's phone was disconnected, she had searched for another number for me. This is what she came up with. The lady on the other end of the phone, a member of Promiseland, had recieved a support letter from me. She said she was writing me a check for 100$ and wanted to know how to mail it! I almost cried-again. But, I was too thrilled this time. Coincidence that I was at the right place at the right time? Nope.



After that great pickmeup(thank you to to the woman who donated,if your reading this-you rock!) I ran home rejoicing. Whooping and hollering. Don't be shocked,but, God had another goldnugget nestled in my email inbox!! A few hours after the first good time, I refreshed my Hotmail and hoped that I would recieve an email from the travel agent. Though, part of me dreaded what it may hold. Then, in black and white, there was my price, iteniary..and a personal message. I sped over it and then jumped from the computer chair! The only flight I will be solo on is the plane from Jax to Dallas(not a long ride). In Dallas, I meet up with a girl from Nehemiah teams! Oh, and if God couldn't get any better, he outdid Himself you guys!! Not only is she on Nehemiah teams, but guess where she will serve this summer- all summer? Camotes island! With me on Camotes island! Though I am unfaithful, he remains Himself. He doesn't change. He is good. I feel silly and giddy and like a little kid right now. Going to work with Dad!

Yesterday I found out that I cannot arrive earlier in the Philippines. It makes sense why not. The IMB is training the team leaders for a couple of days before their teams show up. I am not a team leader, so it does make sense why I don't belong in that training.
But,that means I will at least have to fly in the States alone. Hopefully, I will meet some fellow Nehemiah teammates at the LAX airport layover and have companions on my looong international flight but I'll be flying solo literally in the USA. My parents are concerned about the whole thing...okay, maybe me too. Plus, on top of that, this means I am back at square one when it comes to travel agents and iteniaries. Now I leave on a completely different date: June 3rd. (Though, don't make a note of the date, because who knows when that might change again!!)

I feel jetlagged and I haven't even stepped on the plane yet. Not that everything has been negative this week- I have been worried I wouldn't have money to buy a brandnew dufflebag to bring to the Island( a suitcase really wouldn't work out). Well,I went to the City Rescue Mission thrift store yestreday to look around. That place is a goldmine! I looked at the luggage and found a huge duffle bag for four dollars!! It is just the size I need and doesn't look too bad over the old shoulder either. Plus, I got to tell the thrift store ladies about my trip!

Also, I had another Yard Sale today. It was so hot I thought I was gonna spontaneously combust a couple times. I sold the last of Kelly's stuff from last week and Tracy donated alot of items today that sold as well. Thanks, ladies! Oh, and I met this family who was from Haiti.The mom, the daughter, and the grandmother bought three bags of clothes. I struggled talking with them,as they had a thick accent and knew only some English, but I finally figured out that the Mom was going to bring most of these clothes back to the unfortunate in Haiti! I told her about my mission trip. I wanted to make sure she was understanding, so I spoke very loud. Quick tip- Increasing volume does not make people who don't speak your language understand what your saying. Glad I figured that out before I shouted at a Filipino this summer. I just thought that it was interesting how they paid me for my trip to the Pacific Rim and that money bought clothes to help with their trip to Haiti. Who knew I would have a crosscultural expeirence at my yard sale!

Last set of shots Monday, whoo-hoo!! Waiting for the plane ticket situation to clear up. I heard a preacher say that not many people talk about the "jagged edge of ministry". Basically, the part they don't tell you about. The stuff that isn't exciting. It's just following Him daily. I don't know what this air travel dilemma is gonna do to strengthen my faith, but maybe this is the jagged edge part.

The wrench

Yesterday, I found the setback I was waiting on(when I wrote that I knew it was a jinx!!). My flying partner,Jessica, has to be in the Philly on June 2nd for leader training, while I don't have to be there until June 5th. Neither of us had any idea we were supposed to be there at different times until we met yesterday. The issue at hand is if I am not allowed to get there early obviously I will have to fly alone. I have been trying to get in touch with the IMB all day to check and see if it would be possible for me to arrive earlier. Mom and Dad are saying no on the thought of me in a plane for 19 hours by myself and going through airports and customs by myself...I can't say I am dying to do that either.
However, even though that small black cloud loomed over, we went ahead and contacted different travel agents and set up flights for June 2nd-but we haven't bought tickets yet because of the issue. I am hoping I can just leave earlier and that I will have a place to stay when I get there. Only time will tell. If I did leave earlier, I would depart from the States on May 31st. Which gives me about three weeks left here in the good ole USA. I can't say I am upset that the trip is bumped up-just excited. I did get a little weepy last night thinking of my departure, but I am over it today. Just excited.Ready to do this already. So, thats the news. I will update as things change-and they will.

Gettin down to business

..I am about to head out to meet up with my friend Jessica at Panera. I met her at Missions Training. She is flying out of Jacksonville, as well. We are trying to figure out who will be our travel agent and purchase our tickets today. I have absolutely no idea what I am doing when it comes to air travel. I've flown to Mexico twice and thats it. (Once when I was like seven and then again last January- my flight partners were Tommy Mallard and Don Blanton. I felt safe.)

Anyways, Jessica has been to Beijing and other parts of Asia before so, she has flown alot more than me -which is positive. Both of our moms are coming too which makes me laugh. Should be a good time.
It feels like the trip might actually happen. I am more excited than ever right now. I am gonna blog when I get home on how the afternoon went down. I am hoping tickets will be successfully bought and things will just go smoothly. I am mainly nervous that we get a good travel agent and hook up with a good airline. Me and Jessica will be flying 18 hrs there and back, not counting layovers, so its a long time to be up in the air. Trying to trust Him on today...

Round 2

I made it out okay again. Thanks, God. I had peace today pretty much. I was just happy that I had the money to pay for the shot! My Dad called while we were getting off on Eight street and said he had been praying for me. That in itself meant alot(It always gives me comfort to hear someone say I am praying for you and mean it).
After arriving in the parking garage, we found out the Clinic's electricity was off. So, because the elevators were down for the count we had to climb three flights of stairs to the office(found out I'm defintely out of shape-who'd of thought?) This time it was full. The place was dark besides light peeking through the window's blinds and it was HOT. The people inside were sweating. Luckily, right after the travel specialist saw me she took me back in the 'room' . It was kind of like my personal horror movie- dark, hot, and needles everywhere. The lady warned me again about the risk of the shot again-like I had forgotten. She said I would have to be watched in office for thirty minutes after the shot was given in case of the reaction. With that said she poked my arm underneath in the same place as last time. It felt about the same. Then I went out into the office and sweated it out for the allotted time. While doing so, Mom paid for the shot with the miracle money and explained the whole story to the frontdesk lady. She told us she was a Christian and had been on a few missions trip herself back when she was younger. God has people everywhere!
Overall, the day was successful. No drama, besides the heavy exercise and sweating. =) I go back sooner than I thought, one week. Maybe I won't blog about that one too in depth ,though, as much as I'd like to, I have a feeling people don't wanna read another detailed shot blog from me. I might anyways though, who knows!
Oh, random thought-I purchase my plane ticket Thursday afternoon with my flight buddy if all goes as planned. I am so ready to get that huge detail behind me. Things seem to be falling into place smoothly. I keep waiting for a huge setback, but God is blessing me so far.

Ok, I just gotta write about what happened this weekend!

The family and I decided last minute to sell all the accumalated garbage we had in our house at a yard sale outside in the backyard over the weekend. Mom told me we'd make it a benefit and whatever we made I could use to further my trip. My hopes weren't too high because I mean it is a yard sale on a Friday(Sat. we had plans so that was out) and people are out to get something for nothing and I can't blame them either(that seems to be the yard sale's mission statement! Gettin something for nothing!). But, hey, if all I got was a dollar that'd be one more to add, right?

Before I get ahead of myself, I want to tell you about the support I was most worried about raising at the time. The shots I got last week, that I blogged about a little while ago, were going to be 535$ for only two shots! The clinic said I could pay in three payments. Basically, to finish out the immunazations I have to visit two more times and pay them or I don't get the shot completed-which would be bad. The first payment is taken care of already, but I was prayin that God would provide the next two payments for the shots. The amount I owe Monday for the next round is 140$. The next amount I owe in two weeks for the third and final visit is 140$ also.

Anyways, Thursday night, I hung out with Kelly and we made yard sale sighns until 3am-they looked fantastic! She also donated seven bags of clothes! Then Friday came and after we set things up, the crowds came and went all day(including these two ladies who got into a knock down dragout fight over a dehumidifier we were selling! ahhh!) At 2pm, the money count was 80$! I was happy about that but still had no idea what I would do Monday without the right amount. A couple hours later we weren't much past that so I went outside to start closing down and putting up stuff. Just as I began to do that, Grandma ,as she told me later,was praying over at her house that the rest of the money would come in for me. She said that when she looked up from her prayer, there were three cars stopped! I did business and sold things for the next hour straight! People kept showing up. At 4pm I went in to count the money for the days complete earnings. To my surprise, I had 145$ in my hand! The next series of shots and five lunch items off the Mcd's dollar menu! Yeah, God!

But, its not over! That night after a shower I rode over to Westside with my Grandma and all four siblings to see Team Impact. After watching feats of strength for two hours(one guy broke two baseball bats in half!) and watching a bunch of people come to Christ during the invitation, I got up to leave and head for the car with the family. Just so happened that as I was fixing to walk out the door, I ran into someone from our church. She had gotten my support letter for the trip. She talked to me for a minute about it and then said she would just go ahead and write me a check and give it to me. When she was done, she handed me the check. I slipped it into my purse, thanked her, and walked out to Grandma's car. I waited until I got in and buckled to look at the the check. Then, my eyes filled with tears and I started laughing and crying(just a peice of advice, don't try both at the same time-it produces snot from the nostrils). The check was written to Kaylee Daniels for the amount of 140$!!! Which of course was the amount I needed in full for all of my shots for the next three weeks!! God is real! I was like,He knew exactly how much money I needed and how to give it to me! He really does want this to happen and he sees me and hears my prayers and loves me and geez, just overload! So, thats about it=) I will blog about Monday and how the shot went and if I go into shock or not. Hopefully not, but I am not nervous anymore. I am starting to see God can take care of the seemingly impossible odds tossed at me, whether it be lack of funds for different things or anaphalactic shock!